


Out Plotting the Plotters

by KaterineBlack



Series: Gifting and Matchmaking [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Boxing Day, Ex-Auror Harry Potter, M/M, Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes, christmas gifts, trickery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-14 09:07:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28918062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaterineBlack/pseuds/KaterineBlack
Summary: When Ron bought an ugly joke as a gift for his new Auror partner, Harry didn’t think anything of it. Until a different man entirely brought it back for a refund. Figuring out what their friends were up to Harry and Draco decide to beat them at their own game.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Series: Gifting and Matchmaking [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2090061
Comments: 5
Kudos: 45





	1. The First Gift

**Author's Note:**

> So you *probably* don't need to have read the first fic for this one to make sense  
> This one was written after the Epilogue of the first fic jumped out and told me there was more to the story (Harry was very insistent that he had more to add)  
> This was beta'd by the same set of people as the first fic and they still have my thanks for all their help

“Why are you buying a miniature version of the umbrella stand from Grimmauld Place, Ron? I don’t even understand why the Twins even thought it was a good product to make. That’s the first one that’s been sold since they created them.”

“It’s a gag gift for my new partner at work, now that I’m not working with you.”

“Ok, well do you want me to wrap it in the Peek-Proof-Paper we just introduced? The paper is spelled to prevent any peeking before the date included in the spell, all child-safe and accidental magic safe. Christmas themed paper will open on the 25th, Yule themed on the 21st, all other paper requires a staff member to spell the correct date into it before it is used.”

“Use some of the Christmas paper please, mate. You know how bad I am at wrapping things.”

Harry grabbed the correct paper and quickly wrapped the miniature troll’s foot, trying to ignore the memories it brought up. He put on his best customer service voice, trying to imitate the shop assistants he had seen the few times his aunt had dragged him out to carry her bags while she pampered herself.

“Here you are, Sir, that will be two Galleons and three Sickles. Would you like a receipt?”

“Just in case my partner hates it, can they get the money back if they return it with the receipt?” 

“Yeah. They can.” Harry dropped the fake voice, “as long as they bring it back within a month and it’s undamaged they’ll get a refund. Who is your new partner, anyway?”

“It’s Theo Nott, surprisingly. I barely believed it when Robards put me with him after you left, but we work well together.” There was a sudden beeping noise from Ron’s arm. “Well that’s my break over, I should get back to the ministry. I’ll see you at the Burrow on Christmas Day?”

“I wouldn’t miss your mum’s Christmas lunch, even if it’s still a bit awkward between me and Ginny.”

“She’ll get over you soon, mate. I think ‘Mione mentioned she was interested in one of her teammates after the last time they chatted over the Floo. I’ll see you at Christmas, thanks again.” The redhead turned and almost ran out of the shop before apparating away.

* * *

Harry wasn’t even sure why the Twins felt the store should be open on Boxing Day. He didn’t think anyone would want to go out and shop, unless absolutely necessary; most people would be recovering from the large amount of food and alcohol they’d consumed on Christmas Day. There hadn’t been a single customer since he had opened the shop that morning, though he was enjoying using the quiet to work out the bugs in his current project. Since the store was quiet, the bell that announced the door had opened seemed overly loud, as it was usually lost in the noise of the shop. 

A distinctive box was set on the counter in front of him along with a receipt; the mini Troll’s leg that he had sold to Ron a few weeks prior. Looking back at it, he was definitely not going to let the Twins make any more of them. Harry glanced up at the person on the other side of the counter, surprised to see the blond hair that belonged solely to the Malfoy family.

“Potter.” 

“Malfoy.”

“Shouldn’t you be off somewhere playing hero?”

“I got tired of all the violence and death. Where did you get this?” Harry pointed at the box.

“Blaise gave it to me for Christmas, which is honestly very strange as he usually gives particularly useful gifts.”

“That is very strange, considering I know that there has only been one of those horrible quill holder’s sold to Ron. He told me he was going to give it to his Auror partner, Theo Nott.”

“Theo and Blaise have been close friends since before Hogwarts, though I still don’t know why either of them would pass it on to me, especially as Blaise claimed that he had run out of wrapping paper and that was why it was wrapped with paper from here.”

“It was wrapped from here as Ron can’t wrap a present to save his life so he got me to do it when he bought that thing and the paper from here was the only paper to hand. For some reason he decided buying it on his break was a good idea and had to rush back as soon as I finished wrapping it.”

“When did you start working here?”

“That’s a little complicated. But, essentially, the Twins were the first to realise that working as an Auror was slowly killing me. After I quit, they told me they were happy to let me help them out with research and development, as long as I didn’t mind helping out in the shop when needed; summer, the run up to Christmas and today. Though I’m still not sure why they want to be open today. You’ve been my only customer so far.” Harry cast a quick tempus charm. “And considering the shop closes in about half an hour you are likely to be the only customer at all.”

“I think I know what’s going on with our friends.” Harry felt a shiver go down his spine at the grin on Malfoy’s face. “Why don’t you process this refund, and then close up the shop early and we can discuss it, and how we can get back at them.”

“Sure, here are the two Galleons and three Sickles that that thing costs, I just need to tighten the wards and then we can Floo out from the office.” Harry offered his hand to Malfoy, who took it and allowed himself to be pulled behind Harry as he did his final checks before the pair Floo’d together to Malfoy’s flat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I planned to post this on Sunday with the other fic's epilogue but had a migraine so you get it today (with the epilogue)  
> Next chapter will post on Sunday


	2. The Second Gift

“You’re buying that tie? Really Neville? For the love of Merlin, who are you planning on giving it to? And are you ready for what they’ll do to you when they realise that it’s not actually black?” Harry looked at the plain packaging that ‘The Worst Tie You Could Possibly Imagine’ came with and wondered who Neville even knew that wore ties.

“It’s for Hannah’s dad, he’s been being uncooperative about her wants and it’s not like he interacts with any muggles or anyone who could actually cause problems for me and Hannah. It should just embarrass him a bit.”

“Fine then, on your own head be it. Want me to wrap it for you? With the charmed paper?”

“Yeah, that would be great!”

“Do you want a receipt?”

“Yeah, if he can get something he actually wants afterwards it will hopefully smooth any overly-ruffled feathers.”

“He has a month from the day of unwrapping to return it, as long as it’s undamaged. Don’t worry, all the information’s on the back of the receipt. That will be five Galleons and seven Knuts. Have a good Christmas, mate, and give Hannah my regards. Good luck with your father-in-law to be.” Harry called after Neville as he left the shop.

* * *

The shop was again deserted on Boxing Day, though Ron had spent most of the morning hanging around the shop pestering Harry about his love life before Hermione had all but dragged him out of the shop. Harry was trying to figure out how early he could get away with closing up when he heard the bell ring, signalling a customer had come in. He looked up and saw a familiar blonde approaching the counter.

“Let me guess. Blaise gave you a tie that looked black but became overly vibrant when you were around other people and then reverted to black when you took it off?” Harry said wryly.

“How did you know? I thought you said Weasley hadn’t bought anything that wasn’t obviously for his spawn this year.” 

Harry had to hold back a laugh at the expression Draco made at the thought of Ron having a child. 

“Ron didn’t buy anything, but the group of conspirators appears to have expanded by one. Neville bought one a few weeks back and apparently somehow passed it on to Blaise.” Harry looked down at the box Draco put on the counter. 

“You know, what would really get them panicked is if you kept the tie. I mean, as far as they know, you never returned the Troll’s leg. And Teddy would love that tie. I’m sure you would become one of his favourite people if you wore it around him. Andy talks to Molly enough that I’m sure it would get back to Ron eventually, and then he’s sure to tell the rest of that quartet about it.”

“You may just be onto something there, Harry.” Draco leaned across the counter and kissed Harry’s cheek.

“Though you are lucky, Ron spent almost the entire morning hanging around the shop. He wasn’t particularly subtle and it’s not like there have been any customers. ‘Mione dragged him back home at lunchtime. Apparently, there was only so long she was willing to deal with Rosie on her own. But I’m sure he was trying to see if you were going to come in to return the tie.”

“I did consider coming in earlier but there is an advantage for coming this late.” Draco grinned at him.

“And what is that, Mr Malfoy?” 

“It makes it easier to persuade you to close up early, so I can take you home to have my wicked way with you, Mr Potter.” Harry blushed at the boldness of Draco’s words.

“Before I let you have your way, I do have a suggestion to make next year more interesting.”

“Oh?” Draco raised an eyebrow at him. “What is this brilliant idea of yours?”

“What if we create a wrapping charm which means you don’t even accept the present from Blaise? Make it look like an object you would never touch or something? That way, they won’t be watching the shop and we could spend the day together.”

“I like it when you’re cunning, Harry. Lock up and then we can head back to my flat to out plot the plotters.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter ends with the title of this fic, I literally only just noticed this while preparing the chapter for posting. This fic had a different title while I was writing it that ended up being changed as I felt it didn't quite work (both fics went through a few titles before I got to the final ones they have been posted under, though Gifting and Matchmaking was something I thought of fairly early on)


	3. The Third Gift

“I have to admit that the way the Twins applied the house colours was almost tasteful with this line of products” Harry looked at the box for the floating ashtray in Slytherin green and silver. “Who’s this for, then? I didn’t think any of your family smoked.”

“It’s for Theo again. He didn’t like last year’s gift anywhere near as much as the Troll’s leg, so I thought I’d go for something similar to what worked before.” Harry mentally raised an eyebrow. He knew exactly who had been given the Troll’s leg, and it hadn’t been Theo Nott.

“Ok, you want this wrapped again? Is paper fine, or do you want to try the new Kiss-A-Frog wrapping? The gift will look like an animated frog until someone kisses it. If no-one is willing, the gifter can have it changed back for a small fee, or the recipient can do the same, but they won’t be charged.” Harry grinned at his best mate, he knew exactly which would be chosen, even if Ron didn’t realise he was so predictable.

“That sounds like it could be a right laugh, mate, I’ll take the Kiss-A-Frog. Who even came up with that?”

“I did. It’s based on a muggle kids story where a princess kisses a talking frog who turns into a prince. It doesn’t have a time lock, so don’t let it get kissed early. And don’t let it get damaged, either, or the gift will be damaged, too. Oh, and it’ll be a permanent transfiguration if you let it sit for more than six months.”

“Right, then,” Ron muttered, inspecting it.

“Six Galleons total. It costs a bit more than the regular paper.” 

“Thanks mate, see you at the Burrow again this year?”

“Definitely. Bye.”

* * *

“So, did you even touch it?” Harry asked as he gently ran his hand along Draco’s exposed back.

“I wouldn’t even let Blaise hand it to me. I acted like a complete drama queen, and almost channelled my eleven year old self and told him my father will hear about this.”

“I’m sure it was fascinating to watch. Drama queen, you say? My mugglisms must be rubbing off on you.”

“Well, after last night, I’m happy to let you rub all over me.”

“Last night was definitely enjoyable. I wouldn’t object to a repeat at some point, though I want an actual date outside of your flat, as well. If we have to avoid the Wizarding world while we string the interfering quartet along, I could always show you some more of the muggle world.”

“I’d like that. Show me more of their interesting stories that get magic completely wrong.”

“I want to take you to the cinema and the theatre. You’d probably enjoy opera, and I’d sit through exactly one for you. Any more than that, and you’d have to be very convincing about it.”

“I want to see whatever you want to show me I think this is honestly the happiest I’ve been since the war.

Harry blushed and grinned. “You’ve made me very happy as well. Thinking about the conspiring quartet; how much longer do you want to drag out their suspense? I was thinking we time you bringing in whatever they get you so at least one of them sees the two of us talking, maybe even one of them hears you asking me back here after I finish work. I don’t want to keep us a secret from everyone for more than another year or so.”

“I wonder what they’re gonna get for next year’s gift. That may affect what we do.” Draco rolled over so he was leaning over Harry.

“That probably depends on whether they de-frog the ashtray or not, do any of them know anyone who would even want an annoying ashtray?”

“None of them smoke, and unless one of the many Weasleys smokes, then none of them have use for it, so they will have to get rid of it somehow, assuming they de-frog it.”

“So, they will quite possibly try to give it to you again.” Harry pulled the blonde down so he could kiss him. “You know, I’m happy about their meddling. We wouldn’t have gotten together without it. But they still could have talked to us.”


	4. The Final Gift

“No gag gift this year, mate?”

“Have to give him serious ones sometimes, though I’ll use the spelled paper of yours, not the frog, he refused to kiss it last year and I ended up getting Fred to de-frog it for me. You said the paper was kid-safe, right?”

“All spells used on the paper won’t do more than surprise a kid who tries to peek, and none of them will become unstable if exposed to accidental magic. Rosie starting to try and peek at presents?”

“Yeah, she wants them immediately. She’s too young to understand why we’re waiting, but she knows that the presents are for her. The paper should discourage it fairly quickly, I hope.”

“Sure, unless she enjoys being purple for a day, or any other colour. The paper is two Sickles per sheet or nine Galleons for five.”

“Can I get three for Christmas and two for Rosie’s birthday as a set of five?”

“Yeah, that’s fine. Twelfth of September, right? These will only work if you wrap it before the next time the date comes around, and they can't be reused. Well, they can, but they won’t be peek-proof at that point. We have house colours, pink, purple, blue, green and rainbow patterns, as well as the Christmas paper.”

“I’ll take one pink and rainbow and three Christmas ones. Here. I’ll see you this weekend. ‘Mione’s been complaining that we’ve barely seen you recently.”

“Lunchtime Saturday. Good with you?”

“Yeah, mate, that would be great.”

* * *

“Well, that was surprising. I didn’t expect your parents to warm up to me that quickly.” 

“I’m not surprised. They've always wanted the best for me, and who could be better than the Saviour of the Wizarding World, even if you aren’t an Auror anymore. Though I think Mother did see your quitting as an advantage, what with me worrying each time you went into work. And it’s not like you aren’t rich and you showed good business sense when you invested in the Twins’ store, which pleased Father.”

“I was worried they would object to me being a bloke. Not being able to continue the family line and all that.”

“Well, it’s not like it’s completely impossible for us to have a child together. Difficult and expensive, yes, but not impossible. And if we don’t want to deal with the risks involved, there is always surrogacy and blood adoptions. It’s not necessarily approved of in pureblood society, and the Dark Lord was insanely opposed to it, so no Death Eater could even hint about it without being cursed with impotency. And I’ve seen how you are with Teddy. You want kids of your own, it’s written across your face whenever you have to leave him with Aunt Andy.”

“You’re not wrong. I definitely want my own children someday. I want an actual family of my own, especially since I don’t want my only family to be the relatives that hate me. I know I have my friends but they’re all starting their own families now. We’re not as close as we were. Hell, I’m closer to the Twins and Bill now than I am to Ron. Sometimes, I feel like I wouldn’t have been friends with Ron and Hermione if it wasn’t for all the mad stuff that happened at Hogwarts.”

Draco pulled Harry into a hug. “Friends grow apart, Darling. It happens to everyone. You spent almost every day with them for nine years, maybe those connections needed all that time to keep them strong. You haven’t stopped being friends now, it just takes a bit more effort than it did though school and when you were partnered with the Weasel as Aurors.” Harry felt Dreaco gently press his lips against Harry’s.

Harry laughed, pushing Draco away from him for a moment, “Don’t call him that!” 

Draco rolled his eyes and smiled at his lover. “Sorry! Now let’s open the ‘gift’ I received from Blaise, and then we can plan how I’m going to return this tomorrow.”

Harry carefully pulled away from Draco and picked the parcel up from where they had left it on the living room table. “This is definitely the paper I sold to Ron. I added a second W to each of the Christmas papers I gave him. It wasn’t obvious if you don’t look at it everyday, but it was enough that I would be able to tell if they used it to wrap your ‘gift’.” he looked back at his boyfriend, “Did I tell you I accidentally found the pub the four of them meet at? It was a coincidence, I was walking past the Leaky when I heard Ron and Theo mentioning meeting Blaise at a muggle pub nearby for lunch. So, I went there just after I finished work and talked to the bartender. He told me they tend to meet up there at about five thirty in the afternoon on Boxing Day, and he thought that they seemed to be trying to drown their sorrows while most people are still celebrating the holiday. I’m really tempted to go there once they know we’ve seen each other and hide in a booth and see how they react to the end of their scheming.”

“That sounds very sneaky of you, Mr. Potter. When should I show up at the shop to guarantee that I’m seen by one of them?”

“Ron tends to hang around the shop from opening at nine until about one. Neville turns up at two and stays until four. As for the other two, they never come into the shop but since they don’t seem to have twigged that you’ve come to the shop twice already, I’m assuming that they don’t hang around the alley long after four. If they show up at all.”

“So, if I march in the shop at about eleven, I am likely to be seen by the Weasel? You said they meet at the bar at about five thirty?” Harry nodded. “If I suggest I meet you after your shift, maybe at six, and you claim you have something you need to do, so I can bring you back here as if for a date. We can get to the pub before them, since you closed the shop at five the last few years, anyway, and we can hide before they arrive.”

“You should act like you’re surprised to see me there. We don’t want to make them suspicious, after all.”

“You are brilliant, my Darling!” Draco pulled Harry in for a kiss and they forgot to unwrap the gift until late in the evening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Late due to spending the day unpacking  
> I moved house a month ago and I'm still not done unpacking  
> Epilogue will post next week  
> I'm not entirely sure what will post the week after


	5. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The bits of text in italics in this chapter are sections copied from the Epilogue of the first fic with some minor edits

Harry fingered the small box he had hidden in his pocket. He knew it could be seen as early but it felt like it was the right time to ask. He had assumed that Ron would ask him to help wrap the gift for Draco again, and had planned to hide the ring inside the box. Either way, it felt right to ask, as they were ending their friends’ attempts to get them together. It had been fun, but hiding their relationship had become exhausting.

He had agreed to meet Draco at their flat before they would make their way to the muggle pub their friends had taken to plotting about them in.. It had originally been Draco’s, but Harry had moved in just before the peak of summer business that year. 

They were careful to keep hidden in the darkness of the deep seats of their booth, when they heard Ron and Theo sit down at a table nearby. They seemed to be discussing various bits of gossip from within the Auror office, but that changed when two more men joined them at the table. There was a short silence before the discussion turned to the topic he and Draco had been waiting for.

_“Well, it worked, then.” He heard Ron start._

_“Weasley, I almost thought your bizarre plan was going to fail.”_

_“I have to agree, Ron, while the Kiss-A-Frog was hilarious, it almost ruined the whole thing.”_

_“I still don’t see why you had to put the blame for that on me, Blaise. Draco is still giving me funny looks”_

“Are you really still playing into that Love?” Harry whispered to Draco, who only grinned in response.

_“Well, I couldn’t exactly say that Weasley here got the idea from his lovely wife, now could I? And I’m the one who had to ruin my reputation for excellent gift giving, aren’t I?”_

_“I’m surprised he didn’t return the tie,” Neville commented._

_“I heard from Andy that he wears it each time he visits little Teddy. It was just a matter of finding something he could find no excuse for keeping and had no-one to pass it on to.”_

“How did you get Aunt Andy to not mention that you visit with me most of the time?” Draco quietly asked him.

“I just told her what was going on. She was a Slytherin you know.”

_“Which is why the ashtray worked. No-one Draco knows smokes and it was just annoying enough that he wouldn’t want to try and keep it.”_

_“Yes, yes, you told us so. But, admittedly, we did try to give it to him last year, as well, but Ron, you did insist on the frog.”_

_“You have to admit his reaction to that was hilarious!”_

Harry quickly put his hand over Draco’s mouth. “Yes, I know it was our idea, really,” he hissed into his partner’s ear, “But you did overact just a little bit, my Love.”

_“Anyway, I propose a toast.” Theo almost shouted, “To successful matchmaking, and no more gag gifts!” Harry heard the sound of glasses clinking against other glasses._

_“I have to admit, unless your brothers managed to think of something particularly spectacular for next year I don’t actually know what we could have given him.” They heard the four plotters laugh and then the sounds of chairs moving as they left._

_“Should we tell them we know what they did?” Draco asked him._

_“Draco, Love, I was hoping they would try for at least one more year. I was going to swap their gift out for this when I wrapped it for them.” Harry took a deep breath and pulled the box out of his pocket. He got out of the booth and lowered himself down on one knee in front of his boyfriend. “Will you do me the honor of marrying me, my Love?”_

_“Yes! Of course, I’ll marry you Harry.” Harry was pulled onto his feet and straight into his fiance’s arms. “Do you think you could get the Twins’ help to include something in the wedding invitations?”_

_“I’m sure I can, let’s go home, Love.”_

* * *

Ron looked at the letter that had been delivered that morning. The parchment was of particularly high quality and he thought that half the crest on the seal looked familiar. He quickly opened the letter and he was immediately surrounded by a cloud of gold and silver smoke. As the smoke cleared he heard Hermione come into the kitchen and immediately start laughing.

“What did you do to upset the Twins?” she asked him.

“I’m not sure it was the Twins, or at least not directly.” He frowned at the letter that had been inside the envelope. “It seems that Harry and Malfoy got together and they decided that the matchmaking I’d been trying to do with Nev, Theo and Blaise, was annoying, so they snuck around and pretended they hadn’t seen each other since Hogwarts. This is them telling me they know what we were doing and inviting us to their wedding. To be held on their 5th anniversary this Boxing Day.”

* * *

Across the country, in their own homes, Neville, Blaise and Theo received their own smoke-filled invitations. 

The next time the four were together they discovered what the smoke had done. They could only speak together if there was a fifth person with them. Anytime the four were alone together no words would come out of their mouths. This effect was only lifted at the joint Malfoy-Potter bachelor’s party on Christmas Day, right before the wedding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that's the end of this pair of fics  
> I hope you enjoyed them  
> I don't plan on continuing this series any more but I have kept notes on my ideas for WWW which may turn up in other fics I write


End file.
